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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Calling
Yeah
Positive
Stop
Clinic
Back
Sharing
Love
Test
Speaking
Tests
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
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We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
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Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
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Every one starts out being an atheist.
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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