Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Speaking
Tests
Calling
Yeah
Positive
Stop
Clinic
Back
Sharing
Love
Test
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
Andy Rooney
Dogs are nicer than people.
Andy Rooney
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Andy Rooney
I did not believe in the war. I thought it was wrong to go into any war. And I got to the war, and saw the Germans, and I changed my mind. I decided we were right going into World War II.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney
I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
Andy Rooney
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
Andy Rooney
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
Andy Rooney
I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
Andy Rooney
We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
Andy Rooney
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney
