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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
May
Tender
Soft
Tomorrow
Learned
Words
Keep

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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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