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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Soft
Tomorrow
Learned
Words
Keep
May
Tender

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
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The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
Andy Rooney
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
Andy Rooney
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
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Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
Andy Rooney