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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Night
Adults
Around
Summer
Children
Walks
Learned
Wonder
Wonders
Child
Nights
Simple
Adult
Father
Block

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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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