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Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
People
Paid
Lucky
Television
Many
Mind
Time
Life
World
Luckier

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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the button repeatedly as though it would help.
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I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry the other half hated President Bush.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
Andy Rooney
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Andy Rooney
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney