Quote

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.

Andy Rooney

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Piss
Opinions
Opinion
Might
People

More quotes by Andy Rooney

Image
In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
Andy Rooney
Image
One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
Andy Rooney
Image
I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
Andy Rooney
Image
I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
Andy Rooney
Image
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Andy Rooney
Image
Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Andy Rooney
Image
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
Image
Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
Image
If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
Andy Rooney
Image
Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
Andy Rooney
Image
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
Andy Rooney
Image
I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
Andy Rooney
Image
Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
Andy Rooney
Image
Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Andy Rooney
Image
I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
Andy Rooney
Image
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney
Image
We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
Andy Rooney
Image
One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
Andy Rooney
Image
I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
Andy Rooney
Image
In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
Andy Rooney