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If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Problem
Finished
Many
Projects
Going
Problems
Would
Single
Started
Known
Running
Wrestling
Remember
Project
More quotes by Andy Rooney
My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
Andy Rooney
I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
Andy Rooney
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Andy Rooney
Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
Andy Rooney
We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney
Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
Andy Rooney
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
Andy Rooney
Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Andy Rooney
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
Andy Rooney
I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
Andy Rooney
I like animals who trust people.
Andy Rooney
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
Andy Rooney