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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Really
Wanting
Blame
Iraq
Military
Whether
Funny
War
Work
Toys

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
Andy Rooney
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
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If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
Andy Rooney
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Andy Rooney
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
Andy Rooney
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
Andy Rooney
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Andy Rooney
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
Andy Rooney
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
Andy Rooney
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
Andy Rooney
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
Andy Rooney