Quote

There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Doesn
Sixteen
Seems
Cheating
Together
Pounds
Like
Total
Coffee
Seem
Hold
Cans
Half
Thirteen

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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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