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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Year
Waitress
Woman
Stunning
Making
Breakup
Wells
Pants
Well
Yellow
Balding
Every
Hot
Relic
Years
Smart
Relics
Fool
Sausage

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
Andy Rooney
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
Andy Rooney
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
Andy Rooney
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
Andy Rooney
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The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
Andy Rooney
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
Andy Rooney