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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Cooking
Avoid
Eating
Food
Half
Cookbook
Tell
Culinary
Cook
Cooks

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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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