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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Cooking
Avoid
Eating
Food
Half
Cookbook
Tell
Culinary
Cook
Cooks

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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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Everyone hates war, everyone says.
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
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