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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Food
Half
Cookbook
Tell
Culinary
Cook
Cooks
Cooking
Avoid
Eating

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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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