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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Tell
Culinary
Cook
Cooks
Cooking
Avoid
Eating
Food
Half
Cookbook

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.
Andy Rooney
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
Andy Rooney
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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