Quote

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Andy Rooney

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Keep
Always
Soft
Case
Sweet
Cases
Words

More quotes by Andy Rooney

Image
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
Image
It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
Andy Rooney
Image
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
Andy Rooney
Image
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Andy Rooney
Image
Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
Andy Rooney
Image
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
Andy Rooney
Image
Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney
Image
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
Andy Rooney
Image
The last birthday that's any good is 23.
Andy Rooney
Image
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
Image
People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the button repeatedly as though it would help.
Andy Rooney
Image
Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
Andy Rooney
Image
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
Andy Rooney
Image
New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
Andy Rooney
Image
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
Image
I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
Andy Rooney
Image
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
Andy Rooney
Image
By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
Image
I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
Andy Rooney
Image
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney