Quote

Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Someone
Messages
Corny
Thought
Yeah
Enjoying
Back
Positive
Sharing
Ever
Share
Machine
Right
Hear
Test
Great
Stop
Speaking
Beep
Love
Hope
Tests
Clinic
Enjoy
Machines
Answering

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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