Quote

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Paper
Gets
Goes
Learned
Toilet
Ends
Toilets
Life
Closer
Like
Roll
Faster

More quotes by Andy Rooney

Image
I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney
Image
We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney
Image
Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
Image
No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
Andy Rooney
Image
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Andy Rooney
Image
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
Andy Rooney
Image
Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
Andy Rooney
Image
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
Andy Rooney
Image
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Andy Rooney
Image
I did not believe in the war. I thought it was wrong to go into any war. And I got to the war, and saw the Germans, and I changed my mind. I decided we were right going into World War II.
Andy Rooney
Image
It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
Andy Rooney
Image
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Andy Rooney
Image
I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
Andy Rooney
Image
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
Andy Rooney
Image
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
Image
I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
Image
I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
Andy Rooney
Image
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney
Image
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Andy Rooney
Image
Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
Andy Rooney