Quote

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Learned
Toilet
Ends
Toilets
Life
Closer
Like
Roll
Faster
Paper
Gets
Goes

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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Walking is good for the soul.
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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Everyone hates war, everyone says.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
Andy Rooney
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
Andy Rooney