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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Bitterness
Elsewhere
Learned
Happiness
Dock
Docks
Harbor
Harbors

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Dogs are nicer than people.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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