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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Docks
Harbor
Harbors
Bitterness
Elsewhere
Learned
Happiness
Dock

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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
Andy Rooney
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
Andy Rooney
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Andy Rooney
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
Andy Rooney