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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Friend
Serious
Learned
Everyone
Matter
Needs
Life
Goofy
Requires

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
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There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
Andy Rooney
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
Andy Rooney
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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