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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Always
Sturdy
Fats
Bones
Called
Bigs
Mother
Littles
Little

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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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