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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Fats
Bones
Called
Bigs
Mother
Littles
Little
Always
Sturdy

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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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I did not believe in the war. I thought it was wrong to go into any war. And I got to the war, and saw the Germans, and I changed my mind. I decided we were right going into World War II.
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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