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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
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Money
Months
Happens
Wouldn
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Census
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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