Quote

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Every
Piece
Lame
Time
Worth
Bowl
Pieces
Bowls
Game
Expense
Games
Expenses
Though
Super
Kids
Account
Nickel
Great
Accounts
Nickels

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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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