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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Every
Piece
Lame
Time
Worth
Bowl
Pieces
Bowls
Game
Expense
Games
Expenses
Though
Super
Kids
Account
Nickel
Great
Accounts
Nickels

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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
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the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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