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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Men
Differences
Individual
Drafted
Hate
Eliminate
Business
Hates
Young
Tries
Whole
Bright
Trying
Army
Always
Average

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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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