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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Always
Average
Men
Differences
Individual
Drafted
Hate
Eliminate
Business
Hates
Young
Tries
Whole
Bright
Trying
Army
More quotes by Andy Rooney
When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
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We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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