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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
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More quotes by Andy Rooney
Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
Andy Rooney
I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
Andy Rooney
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
Andy Rooney
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
Andy Rooney
You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
Andy Rooney
Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
Andy Rooney
I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
Andy Rooney
I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
Andy Rooney
Numbers are the most certain things we have.
Andy Rooney