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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Secret
Literature
Firsts
Book
Reporter
First
Reporters
Thing
Secrets
Trying
Phone
Phones

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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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Every one starts out being an atheist.
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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