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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Ever
Save
Everything
Waste
Time
Computer
Paper
Reads
Percent
Printed
Literature
Garbage
Sure
Computers
May
Classroom

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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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