Quote

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Percent
Printed
Literature
Garbage
Sure
Computers
May
Classroom
Ever
Save
Everything
Waste
Time
Computer
Paper
Reads

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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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