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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Ever
Nothing
Good
Print
News
Fine
Literature

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
Andy Rooney
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
Andy Rooney
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
Andy Rooney
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Being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
Andy Rooney
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
Andy Rooney
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Andy Rooney
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
Andy Rooney
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
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Walking is good for the soul.
Andy Rooney
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
Andy Rooney
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Andy Rooney
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
Andy Rooney