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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Literature
Ever
Nothing
Good
Print
News
Fine

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
Andy Rooney
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
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Everyone hates war, everyone says.
Andy Rooney
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
Andy Rooney
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
Andy Rooney
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
Andy Rooney
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Andy Rooney
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
Andy Rooney
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
Andy Rooney
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
Andy Rooney
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
Andy Rooney
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Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.
Andy Rooney