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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Nothing
Good
Print
News
Fine
Literature
Ever

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
Andy Rooney
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
Andy Rooney
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
Andy Rooney
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
Andy Rooney
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
Andy Rooney
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
Andy Rooney
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Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
Andy Rooney
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
Andy Rooney
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
Andy Rooney
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
Andy Rooney
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
Andy Rooney