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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Wish
Littles
Little
Sales
Iran
Arms
Knew
Literature
Less

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
Andy Rooney
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
Andy Rooney
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
Andy Rooney
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Andy Rooney
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A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Andy Rooney
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
Andy Rooney
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
Andy Rooney
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Andy Rooney