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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Rumor
Distant
Humor
Death
Young
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
Andy Rooney
Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
Andy Rooney
We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
Andy Rooney
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
Andy Rooney
If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
Andy Rooney
In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
Andy Rooney
We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
Andy Rooney
I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
Andy Rooney
If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
Andy Rooney
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.
Andy Rooney
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
Andy Rooney
It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
Andy Rooney
Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
Andy Rooney
When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney
You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
Andy Rooney
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
Andy Rooney