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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Take
Would
Canine
Owning
Pet
Dogs
Dog
Fun
Talk

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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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