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I noticed when I was driving around that they changed the name of the Interborough Parkway to the Jackie Robinson Parkway. And the Interborough family is very upset about this.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Driving
Changed
Name
Names
Family
Robinson
Around
Jackie
Noticed
Upset

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You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.
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I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.
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I don't know what Tracy Morgan does on stage, but I can assure you it's no act.
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Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.
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There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.
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Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.
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Milk should be refrigerated even before opening.
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CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me.
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Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
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Jewish people, we're repulsed by Hitler, but we're obsessed with him. If you ever want to rob a Jewish person's house, all you have to do is call them up and tell them there's a Hitler film festival down at the multiplex - watch them file out.
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Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
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George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.
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George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
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I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Yeah, I'd like the number of Macy's in Century City, California.' 'Did you say 'pretzel nuggets'?
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Dave Rath is recovering. A month ago he had hip pocket replacement surgery.
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Why does Louis CK get named Comedy Person of the Year? I should be named Comedy Person of the Year just so I can parlay it into another few weeks of road work.
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Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.
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I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.
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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.
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