Quote

Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Deal
Cable
Deals
Cables
Full
Larry
Guy
Redneck
Rednecks
Signed
Cracker
Store
Crackers
Stores
Barrel
Angry
Barrels

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Whenever I watch the beginning of Jimmy Fallon, I feel like I should sue the Roots for bait and switch.
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George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.
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My friend taught me this one. You take the heel of your hand, you can shove someone's nose right through their brain. I can't even watch someone blow their nose. If I'm in a fight, I'm not gonna be shoving or poking, I'm gonna be running or begging - that's my two choices, right there.
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I don't know what Tracy Morgan does on stage, but I can assure you it's no act.
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If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why don't you go to Hell? It's your concept you invented it.
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Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel.
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Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan's show, Conan O'Brien was so offended by Larry's material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended.
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The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
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I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
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Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.
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I do have insecurities. I don't know if you can tell. I'm not brimming with confidence.
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Milk should be refrigerated even before opening.
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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
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I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.
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Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.
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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.
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I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.
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I don't really know what's wrong with Jay Leno. I don't have the training to make a professional diagnosis.
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I'm Jewish... We're a very nervous group. Paranoid. Anxiety-ridden. Maybe that Hitler thing made us a little jumpy. Nothing like a Holocaust to make you mind your Ps and Qs for a couple hundred years I always say.
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