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I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Nastiness
Unless
Coming
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Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
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I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.
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My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.
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President Obama. He is the man. I've tried the rest, and he is the best. My dream is for him to appoint me to be the Secretary of Humor. My first act will be to make whatever Larry the Cable Guy is doing illegal.
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Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole.
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Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.
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Milk should be refrigerated even before opening.
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The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
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There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.
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I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.
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Alexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone!
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I don't know what Tracy Morgan does on stage, but I can assure you it's no act.
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I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.
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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
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Jewish people, we don't believe in Hell or a future place to suffer. We're suffering right now. Every one of our holidays celebrates how much we've suffered. Passover - we're celebrating 5,000 years ago, God passed over our houses and murdered all the Egyptians. We're celebrating, 'Hey, thank God we didn't get slaughtered.
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Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan's show, Conan O'Brien was so offended by Larry's material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended.
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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.
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I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.
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CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me.
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Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
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