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I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Thought
Watched
Firsts
Familiar
First
Realized
Years
Seemed
Cooper
Hour
Anderson
Second
Reporting
Year
Repeat
Hours
Repeats

More quotes by Andy Kindler

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I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.
Andy Kindler
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
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President Obama. He is the man. I've tried the rest, and he is the best. My dream is for him to appoint me to be the Secretary of Humor. My first act will be to make whatever Larry the Cable Guy is doing illegal.
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George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.
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Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
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Dave Rath is recovering. A month ago he had hip pocket replacement surgery.
Andy Kindler
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I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen's show and were disappointed. That didn't seem very organized! That guy's all over the map!
Andy Kindler
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I don't like any nastiness on tv unless it's coming from me.
Andy Kindler
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I don't really know what's wrong with Jay Leno. I don't have the training to make a professional diagnosis.
Andy Kindler
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Alexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone!
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You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.
Andy Kindler
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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.
Andy Kindler
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I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.
Andy Kindler
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I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Yeah, I'd like the number of Macy's in Century City, California.' 'Did you say 'pretzel nuggets'?
Andy Kindler
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My friend taught me this one. You take the heel of your hand, you can shove someone's nose right through their brain. I can't even watch someone blow their nose. If I'm in a fight, I'm not gonna be shoving or poking, I'm gonna be running or begging - that's my two choices, right there.
Andy Kindler
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I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.
Andy Kindler
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CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me.
Andy Kindler
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The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
Andy Kindler
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Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.
Andy Kindler
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There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.
Andy Kindler