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If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why don't you go to Hell? It's your concept you invented it.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Jesus
Ever
Believe
Invented
Think
Concept
Thinking
Excited
Concepts
Hell
Maybe

More quotes by Andy Kindler

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Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.
Andy Kindler
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I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.
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I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I've never seen a town like this. It's supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face.
Andy Kindler
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I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen's show and were disappointed. That didn't seem very organized! That guy's all over the map!
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Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
Andy Kindler
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I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.
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I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.
Andy Kindler
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Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.
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I noticed when I was driving around that they changed the name of the Interborough Parkway to the Jackie Robinson Parkway. And the Interborough family is very upset about this.
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You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.
Andy Kindler
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George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.
Andy Kindler
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My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.
Andy Kindler
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Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.
Andy Kindler
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I do have insecurities. I don't know if you can tell. I'm not brimming with confidence.
Andy Kindler
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I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.
Andy Kindler
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I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.
Andy Kindler
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Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn’t funny.
Andy Kindler
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
Andy Kindler
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George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
Andy Kindler