Quote

I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Back
Hitler
Ever
Prevent
Going
Machine
Made
Machines
Time
Working
Perfect
Stills
Still
Aces

More quotes by Andy Kindler

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Milk should be refrigerated even before opening.
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Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
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People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?
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I'm Jewish... We're a very nervous group. Paranoid. Anxiety-ridden. Maybe that Hitler thing made us a little jumpy. Nothing like a Holocaust to make you mind your Ps and Qs for a couple hundred years I always say.
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BJ Novak gets the Perseverance Award for graduating from Harvard and being unemployed for the entire plane ride to Los Angeles.
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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.
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Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.
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I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.
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I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Yeah, I'd like the number of Macy's in Century City, California.' 'Did you say 'pretzel nuggets'?
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I don't really know what's wrong with Jay Leno. I don't have the training to make a professional diagnosis.
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I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.
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George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
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I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.
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Pixar has announced Larry the Cable Guy will be starring in Cars 3 thru 6. Howie Mandel will be playing his sidekick, Mopey the Moped.
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Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel.
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
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I'm sorry and ashamed to report that I'm not actually a Jew. I was pretending to be a Jew to minimize the holocaust.
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The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.
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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
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Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
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