Quote

Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Show
Suffered
Language
German
Shows
French
Able
Fake
Wells
Speaking
Well
Havens
Eddie
Enough
Haven
Ads
People
Talking
Languages

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Dave Rath is recovering. A month ago he had hip pocket replacement surgery.
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Republicans are just rich, old, white people - that's all they are. You ever see the Republican National Convention? All white people - six black people: paid actors. James Earl Jones in his most difficult, challenging role! Tune in and attempt to watch him look pleased during a George Bush speech. And Clarence Thomas - as himself.
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George Lopez has to get a physical comedy checkup every year to make sure his bulging eyes don't get out of control... Good news George... you are humor free! There's no sign of comedy anywhere in your blood stream.
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I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.
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You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to install separate drinking fountains.
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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
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I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.
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I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.
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Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
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George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
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I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.
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I love whenever they downgrade a hurricane to a tropical depression, because I always think of a tropical depression as how I feel three songs into a Jimmy Buffett concert.
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I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.
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I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory.
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Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.
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I was recently voted best standup never to win a major.
Andy Kindler
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I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.
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They shouldn't call anything a boot camp unless you're going off to war. Standup boot camp has been a fantastic thing, for the people putting it on. They keep you out in the woods and won't let you come back until you're funny. Lenny Bruce came up with his Religions Inc. bit on a day hike.
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I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.
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I noticed when I was driving around that they changed the name of the Interborough Parkway to the Jackie Robinson Parkway. And the Interborough family is very upset about this.
Andy Kindler