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I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.

Andy Kindler

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Andy Kindler
Age: 24
Born: 2000
Born: January 1
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
New York City
New York
Believe
Retired
Hall
Halls
Fame
Career
Careers
Ends
Character
Recurring

More quotes by Andy Kindler

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Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
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People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?
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Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel.
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I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.
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I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I've never seen a town like this. It's supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face.
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Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
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BJ Novak gets the Perseverance Award for graduating from Harvard and being unemployed for the entire plane ride to Los Angeles.
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Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
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I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.
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Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?
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Some of my stuff, I realize is just rage.
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I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.
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Whenever I watch the beginning of Jimmy Fallon, I feel like I should sue the Roots for bait and switch.
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I don't remember much about my bar mitzvah. The only thing I remember - I killed! That's what I remembered. Nobody could follow me at my bar-mitzvah. It was over when I was done.
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Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.
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I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.
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I love whenever they downgrade a hurricane to a tropical depression, because I always think of a tropical depression as how I feel three songs into a Jimmy Buffett concert.
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I don't know what Tracy Morgan does on stage, but I can assure you it's no act.
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Why does Louis CK get named Comedy Person of the Year? I should be named Comedy Person of the Year just so I can parlay it into another few weeks of road work.
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My wife and I want to try swapping. We want to go to one of those key parties where you put your keys in a bowl. But we just want to upgrade our car.
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