Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Andy Borowitz
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Keep
Contraception
Didn
Affirmative
Going
Settle
Backwards
Settling
Slavery
Soon
Debating
Action
Gop
More quotes by Andy Borowitz
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz
Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
Andy Borowitz
As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
Andy Borowitz
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy Borowitz
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
Andy Borowitz
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy Borowitz
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Andy Borowitz
Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy Borowitz
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.
Andy Borowitz
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
Andy Borowitz
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
Andy Borowitz
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy Borowitz
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Andy Borowitz
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy Borowitz
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
Andy Borowitz
White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
Andy Borowitz
