Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy Borowitz
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
War
Women
Reason
Must
Declared
Think
Republicans
Thinking
Oil
Republican
Possible
More quotes by Andy Borowitz
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy Borowitz
John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
Andy Borowitz
US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy Borowitz
The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
Andy Borowitz
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy Borowitz
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz
Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
Andy Borowitz
As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
Andy Borowitz
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy Borowitz
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Andy Borowitz
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
Andy Borowitz
NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
Andy Borowitz
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Andy Borowitz
Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy Borowitz
If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy Borowitz
It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
Andy Borowitz
If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them
Andy Borowitz
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz
