Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
Andy Borowitz
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
President
Joined
Men
Ran
Tragic
John
Service
Case
Cases
Secret
Edwards
More quotes by Andy Borowitz
I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
Andy Borowitz
Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
Andy Borowitz
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Andy Borowitz
Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people
Andy Borowitz
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Andy Borowitz
NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
Andy Borowitz
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy Borowitz
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
Andy Borowitz
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy Borowitz
If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them
Andy Borowitz
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy Borowitz
White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
Andy Borowitz
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Andy Borowitz
If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy Borowitz
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
Andy Borowitz
The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
Andy Borowitz
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz