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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy Borowitz
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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
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Shaker Heights
Ohio
Billions
Including
Lost
Made
Airways
Delta
Luggage
Billion
Cash
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White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
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It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
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Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
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Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
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