Quote

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.

Andy Borowitz

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
People
Eight
Iraq
Quiet
Week
Working
Weirdly
War
Healthcare
Three
Weeks
Years
Complaining

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

Image
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Andy Borowitz
Image
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Andy Borowitz
Image
To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people
Andy Borowitz
Image
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy Borowitz
Image
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
Image
All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz
Image
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
Andy Borowitz
Image
We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy Borowitz
Image
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
Image
I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
Andy Borowitz
Image
It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
Image
The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
Andy Borowitz