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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Life
Platform
Platforms
Guide
Guides
Republican
Party
Actually
Born
Staunchly

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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
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John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
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Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
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The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
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Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
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Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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